Book-to-Movie Review: City of Bones

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN

Alright. I promised myself I will not write the whole post in capitals and instead be rational and objective. We'll see how I do;)

I HEARTED THIS MOVIE. A WHOLE FREAKIN LOT. I loved every minute of it. In fact, Lady in The Row Ahead of Me, I owe you an apology. I am sincerely sorry for the bother I caused you during the movie due to hysterical laughing, jumping up and down, quoting lines, smacking people, yelling at the screen, multiple suicide attempts and loudly making it known just how hot I think Jamie/Kevin/Godfrey/Robert is. So on behalf of all the fan people in the theater, I hope you enjoyed the two hours regardless. Now that my conscience is clear- moving on.

The fight scenes were really cool, the demons were all gross and realistic, the acting was genuine (does that make sense?). Like I really felt for all the characters this time. Honestly, I didn't really care about Simon until City of Fallen Angels, but in the movie, Robert Sheehan turned him into A PERSON. WITH LIKE, A DISTINCT PERSONALITY. AND FEELINGS.  He made me want to go back and reread the whole series and give Simon the love he deserves.  And Clary actually WAS the badass everyone wants her to be. Somehow, in the books I never looked at her that way. In terms of badassness, she was always overshadowed by Izzy. In the mortal movie she really shined through Lily Collins. 

Now for the controversial stuff.

DO YOU, OR DO YOU NOT, APPROVE OF JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER? 

Because I used to think the particular casting would fail, but boy Jamie proved himself.

Fine, he was not exactly the Jace I had in my head. I've already read complaints that he didn't smile and was pretty deadpan. What I was seeing? Pure snark and broken-ness, just the way Jace really is. True, he didn't smile almost at all in the movie, but when he did, (LIKE IN THE GREENHOUSE SCENE) IT MADE IT ALL THE MORE SPECIAL. Beautiful and broken Jace happy for the one second he let loose just to have his heart broken again when Simon comes out of Clary's room. And Simon, who just confessed his love, rejected by the girl who's been his best friend for years, and for someone he thinks is a jerk. IT WAS BRILLIANT. 

And the best part of all this? Was that with all the feels the die hard fans were feeling, it was A HUMOROUS ACTION MOVIE. Honestly, if I didn't love all these characters to death for years and know their pasts and futures, I wouldn't have detected all the complicated emotional thingies happening. It was two hours of scary stunts and fighting with demons and vampires with ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS LINES (Some from the book, some original) IN THE MOST TENSE TIMES THAT MADE FOR A HIT. Except for.... *nitpick time*

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THE CLICHE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL/MARY POPPINS CRAP GOING ON? 

They're kissing in the greenhouse and then BOOM the sprinklers go on. 

SERIOUSLY?????????

And the freezing-the-portal-into-ice-and-then-shattering-it-(???)-and-then-it-snows-in-the-room? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM??

And Clary drawing a rune and then sweeping her and across the room to magically clean up her apartment??? EXCUSE ME. RUNES ARE NOT HOUSEKEEPING SUPPLIES. THANK YOU. 

There were a couple more^^^^ but in truth, these actually made for something to laugh about. Comic relief is good for us, people. The only thing that bothered me was Valentine really. Besides evil, he needs to be smart and charismatic. We need to see how Jace and Jocelyn and Luke loved him. All we saw in the movie is an insane megalomaniac. Scary, sure, but not half as scary as he would have been had they given him a script that reflected all of the above. And the dreadlocks? Didn't help.

Last thing: okay, WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF THE SOUNDTRACK???! Romantic scenes DO NOT call for pop music. Not in those cases. And usually, dramatic DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNS make things LESS SCARIER, and not more. Please rectify that for City of Ashes.

I realize this post is really long (Cassie Clare related things inspire MUCH to talk about. I'm not halfway done. If you'd like to rant with me about the good and the bad (Magnus: I'll let you in cuz of the hot one. Jace and Izzy: Why, thank you. Magnus: No. The one with the blue eyes *winks at alec*. Life=made) PLEASE EMAIL ME. I LOVE CRAZY PEOPLE FANS WHO LOVE TO FANGIRL DISCUSS! boardingwithbooks@gmail.com :)

Rating:

So that, folks, is how I wrapped up my summer. Sunday is school for me. Hope you all had an amazing  vacation and an equally great year! Let me know what you think:)

Esty